Pet
Monkey Bar Joke
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey
grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes
and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks
it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue
ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah,
that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything
in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's
in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and
the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the
bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The
bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino
cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He
still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball
he measures everything first!"
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