 Three
Kick Rule Lawyer Joke
Three Kick Rule
A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot
and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming
over here."
The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers
in the UK, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
do things in Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this, with the
Scottish Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Scottish Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then
you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives
up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the
city fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into
the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney
nearly causing him to give up, but didn't.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet
and said, "Okay, you old tosser, now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"
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