 Football
War Zone Sports Joke
Football War Zone
Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Oakland Raiders team for
'98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted
all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a quarterback
that would ensure a SuperBowl win.
Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background,
out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with
a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story
window 200 yards away! He threw another grenade into a group of about
10 soldiers a good 110 yards away! A car passes going 80 miles (120 km)
an hour, and he send another grenade right into the barely open window.
"I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself, "He has
the perfect arm!"
So he brings him to the States and teaches him the game of football. Predictably,
the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the
Raiders go on to win the SuperBowl.
The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of SuperBowl XXXIII, and
when Al asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call
his mother.
"Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won
the SuperBowl."
"I don't want to talk to you, " the old woman says, "You
deserted us. You're not my son."
"I don't think you understand, mother." the young man pleads,
"I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the
middle of thousands of adoring fans."
"No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very
moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile
of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives
last week, and this week your sister was attacked in broad daylight..."
The old lady pauses, then says through her tears, "I'll never forgive
you for moving us to Oakland!"
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