 You
Might Be a Redneck If.. Joke
You Might Be a Redneck If..
Page 1 || Page
2 || Page 3 || Page 4
You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you
only need to buy one gift.
You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South
will rise again.
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel
shirt and thermal underwear.
There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your
truck.
You think the Mountain Men in deliverance were just "Misunderstood".
You've ever made change in the offering plate.
If the fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year".
You consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below
the shirt sleeve...
You own at least 20 baseball hats.
You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball
hat.
You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank!
Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.
You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that isn't!
Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end".
Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
You'd rather catch bass than get some (if you can't guess...)
You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertible top.
You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
The theme song at your high school prom was `Friends in Low Places'.
It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your
sister's honor.
Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer gray.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Ya have to check in the bottom yer shoe for change so you can get grandma
a new plug of tobacco.
Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle.
Ya can't get married to your sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
You celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You fish in your above-ground pool, especially if you catch something!
When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull
up your jeans.
Page 1 || Page
2 || Page 3 || Page 4
Redneck Jokes
Main Page || Other Jokes
Categories
Do you have any funny jokes that are not seen here? Feel free to submit
it to us, and we'll post them up.
|
Home
Picture Gallery
Picture
Galleries
